Driving is a privilege, not a right.

Last night, two 18 year old young men from the high school near me died in a car accident on the freeway. The car stalled on the interstate, in the mid left lane. The driver put his hazards on, he and his passengers kept their seat belts on, headlights were on, and the driver dialed 911 for help. And then blacked out. A driver, suspected to be drunk and with a drunk driving record, slammed into them. The two men in the back died, one at the scene, one today at the hospital. The driver survived with non life threatening injuries. Two young promising lives, just about to graduate, gone. Over. Done. Another totally senseless fatal accident.

In this new high tech, gimme, gimme world, we have created a society lacking in personal responsibility. While Americans complain about less and less rights, we lose more and more. Why? Because adults have to be TOLD and ENFORCED not to drink and drive. Don't get in the car and not put on your seat belt, don't get in your car and text. More and more laws. Because our society is getting dumber and dumber. So teaching people how to drive, making them take a test, and buy insurance is not enough. We must pass laws, pay law enforcement, and give them incentives to stop drivers that don't wear their seat belt, are texting, making calls, driving drunk, and driving stupid. Because why should people be expected to do these things on their own?

Well, let me tell you, they don't. I would love to say I don't know people who have driven drunk, but I do. I have heard grown adults brag about it. For the longest time I have ignored the ignorant 20 somethings that brag about speeding and multiple driving violations. I dared to call out a grown woman complaining on Facebook about drivers not going 80 in the left lane on this very stretch of freeway. The same one my hubby drives twice a day.

I would also like to say I have never made a mistake driving, but I can't. I do drive defensively at all times. I get honked at, cussed at, and passed all the time. But I don't walk through life with my head in the sand, and I try not to drive that way either.

Really, taxpayers have to pay for law enforcement to sit and watch for drivers not wearing their seat belt. Nevermind that there are stupid, drunk, speeding reckless drivers flying by. They are there to pull over Joe idiot that has chosen not to buckle up. Knowing that if they get hit, they may fly out the window. Don't get me started about child safety. I finally turned my daughter around to forward facing when she was getting leg cramps. I pray every minute of the day that nothing happens to her anyway, so I buckle her up forward facing and pray that some dumb ass that had to drink and drive, or harried mom that thinks it is okay to go 80 miles an hour and text does not cross our paths.

You may think I am just a bitter survivor of a beautiful, full of potential 18 year old sister that died in a totally senseless accident. The thing is, I was being called granny driver long before Cathy died. I always worried when my parents or sisters were very late getting home. Premonition? Maybe. Most people would not play Russian roulette with a rifle, but there are millions of people that do it with a ton of metal. And lots of them brag on Facebook about it. I'm sure some precentage of them drive like a granny too, but just think it is cool to say they drive at break neck speeds. But most really do drive like that. I see it every day. Fucking idiots. I think everyone of them needs to see a computer image of themselves crushed beyond recognition. Because in our self centered world, maybe that will knock some reality into them. Or maybe not.

Banner day

I suppose I should start posting again. It is just hard when nobody ever reads my posts. Oh well. Today is a banner day because I am officially in "Onderland". I briefly visited in 1995. Other than that, I was probably 19 or 20 when I first went over 200. In the seventh grade I weighed 79 pounds. From there I went up, up, up. I know I was around 180 when I graduated high school. So as an adult I have never been a normal weight. As a kid, I was a normal weight. I think that is why I am a little different than most overweight people. I am not intimidated just because I am fat and others are not. However, being fat has greatly affected me. On the off chance I am ever a normal weight, I wonder what that will be like. Only 44 pounds to go to be within the normal range for my height. Maybe, just maybe I will find out! One day...

High school sucked

I hated high school. HATED IT!! It is hard to be a teenager and have no self esteem. I did develop a small group of friends, which was great. But overall, I sucked at being social, and that made high school miserable. I have often said that I am so glad we didn't have the internet back then. The bullying that goes on now is at a whole other level, thanks to the internet, texting, Facebook, etc. I am hoping that by the time Sophie is that age, things will change a little. Probably not.

Sometimes, I still feel like I am in high school. I really like Facebook. It comes in handy when you have family that lives out of state. It is so easy to post pictures and stay in touch. But there are some downsides. I try to mainly have friends on there that I know in real life. Most are in some way related to me, or I know them through church. Only a handful are from high school. I don't have a lot of friends on there, so when one drops off, I notice. And I go looking to see who it was. So today I notice one has dropped off. This person still has the same mutual friends. I was the only one deleted. What did I do? I did respond to someone else with a slightly off color joke, and I used the word "butt" in my status. Other than that, I can't imagine what was offensive. And this is someone I see on a weekly basis. I guess I will just ignore it. I will see if I am treated differently next time I see her. I did notice she wasn't too friendly today, but she is kind of quiet in general. I just feel like crap. Like I am fifeteen again. And I am 43.

Healthcare?

Okay, first off let me say that I pay little attention to the news and politics. I hate the news. It is dreary, often repeated, and I have yet to find an anchor that can speak without tons of mistakes. We only get our free City newspaper twice a week, and half the time it doesn't show. So I really don't know a lot of what is going on. So now that they passed Healthcare "reform" I decided I better read the details. Okay, insurance companies can no longer turn you down for coverage based on a pre existing condition. I think that is great. Say you have a chronic illness, you lose or change jobs, you should be able to PAY for insurance for Christ's sake. But, come 2014, if you choose not to have health insurance for whatever reason, you will be fined. That is freaking insane. Some people choose not to have insurance and just pay out of pocket if they have to go to the doctor. This is still America, right? We do still have the right? Well, I guess not. I find this very scary. If we are going to go there, where is it going to end? Pretty soon adults that don't work will be fined. After all, if you don't have a job, you aren't paying taxes. And they are going to need a hell of a lot of tax money to pay for this crappy "reform". Is insurance going to be cheaper? No. I am sure it will be going up. Is the government going to provide healthcare, like many other countries? No. We will still be paying out the butt for it, our taxes will be higher, and no doubt they will add special tax to over the counter medicines. And every other freaking thing we buy. Have I mentioned before that I regret giving Obama my vote?! I will guarantee he will not be getting it in 2012, unless the Republicans trot out someone horrible.

March?!

Wow, I suck at blogging! I missed all of February. Though, I have been pretty busy. I have been exercising every night, doing either 20 or 30 minutes of Walk Away the Pounds. I am getting frustrated though, because I have not been losing the last couple of weeks. Two weeks ago I hit 40 total lost, but then I maintained last week. This week I don't expect to lose either. Weigh in is tomorrow, but I was up two on Sunday, and back to last week's weight this morning. I have been sick for over two weeks now. I'm not sure if it is a cold or allergies, though I think it is a little of both. My face is really puffy, so that may be where some of the weight is. Hopefully I will start losing again soon!

Today I signed Sophie up for preschool, starting in the fall. It is so exciting yet sad at the same time. Time has gone by so fast! I know she will enjoy it, because she is very busy, and she needs the interaction. She already recognizes a lot of her letters and numbers. Also, she is very verbal, but in social situations she tends not to talk a lot, especially to other adults. So I think this will help. And, she will be one of the youngest, if no the youngest in the class. I think that will be to her advantage, because she picks up things from other kids and if she was the oldest, she might be bored. I can't wait to get her a back pack for school! Not to mention a wardrobe :-) I guess I better hurry up and get a job!

Unbloggyish

Sorry, I have been very unbloggyish lately. Not that I have nothing to blog about. There is just to much running around in my head and by the time I can sit down and blog it is all jumbled up in there :-). I had a little stall in my weight loss, so I have been trying to work out every night. I did do 6 out of 7 nights last week. I have been doing the one mile walk away the pounds, and trying to use my three pound weights while I do it. At weigh in on Tuesday I had lost 5 pounds for the week, which was more then I lost in the previous month. I hope I don't gain this week. I am at 35 total lost right now, and my goal was the hit 50 by my bday in March. I may come close.

Last Sunday was my sister Cathy's birthday. She would have been 42. Since we were only 10 months apart we were always the same age for almost two months. Oddly, Chet's birthday is 6 days later, on January 30th, so he and I are the same age for almost two months. We went and hung out at my parents house on what would have been Cathy's birthday. I posted in my FB status that it was her birthday and received some very nice responses. One was from her boyfriend at the time she died. He was driving, and though the accident was ruled no fault, my father has never gotten over the fact her boyfriend was driving. My dad can hold a grudge forever, and he is very bitter. So, he was very surprised to learn that I had been in touch with this person via Facebook. My mom on the other hand was very glad to read his message. Cathy was 18 when she died, and her boyfriend had just turned 17. He had minor injuries in the accident. At first he came around a lot. A few months after she died he started dating a girl that was within their circle of friends. She is a cousin of one of Cathy's good friends. After that he stopped coming around. I am not sure exactly what happened. I don't know if he could detect my dad's bitterness, or he was just uncomfortable. He was so young. I can't imagine going through that even at my age. Now he and that girlfriend have been happily married for many years and have three kids. Their first child has Catherine as her middle name, just like Sophie. I wish we would all have stayed in touch over the years. I know myself, my sisters and my mom would like to have but my dad is another story. He just doesn't like to deal with things sometimes. I do know they have gone back and read the messages again, so I am sure my dad was touched by it too. He would never admit it though.

THIRTY,THIRTY, THIRTY, THIRTY!

Today I FINALLY hit 30 pounds lost. I thought I would do it two weeks ago, but I only lost one pound. Then last week I thought it was a sure thing, but no, I lost ZERO. So today I weighed in and I lost two pounds, to hit 30 exactly, woo hoo! My next goal is to hit 50 by my birthday. Well, the day after, since my birthday is on a Monday. That means 20 pounds in 11 weeks. Maybe I can do it in ten? I know I need to up my exercise and my veggie/fruit intake and I can do it. Once I hit 50, I will want to lose another 25 in three months, so by the first day of summer. That would put me at the weight I was as a senior in highschool, and I grew an inch or more after highschool. I want to wear sleeveless shirts this summer! If I averaged two pounds a week, I will do it! Plus, I think we are having a 25 year highschool reunion this summer. I didn't go to the two previous ones, but now that I am in touch via Facebook with some classmates, maybe I will. Why couldn't it be next year?! By then I will look good :-) Unless I am pregnant. Yes, I am turning 43 in two months and still hoping for another baby. Have I mentioned how happy I am that I decided to join Weight Watchers?!